


Return From the Grave

by loyalbloggerwhoshoots



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:55:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2485232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loyalbloggerwhoshoots/pseuds/loyalbloggerwhoshoots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was a roleplay written between myself and captainjhw on Tumblr, which is why the format is a little odd. All mistakes are my own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John felt like he’d not breathed fresh air in an eternity. It had felt like five years had passed while he was trapped in the underworld. But of course, when he returned to the surface, feeling cold, and empty, he’d be stunned to realize it had only been a week.  _One week._

How was that even possible? His chest ached uncomfortably as he tried to get his bearings. He wasn’t sure just where he was but he found himself wandering into the door of the nearest bar. The world felt a bit foreign to him now. It was so… dull and cold. So much more bleak than he remembered. He had no phone, no money, no nothing. Everything he’d worked for died with him. He hardly looked like himself anymore. Shaggier hair, a beard were the smallest changes by far. He was incredibly slight, much thinner than he had been before.

He moved toward someone at the bar and asked if he could use their phone to send a text to the only person he could turn to right now.

_Hey, this is John. I’m not dead. I’m stranded in bumfucknowhere, some shite bar called Willies in Yorkshire I think. I need help. Don’t tell anyone, just come get me. -JW_

Sebastian had just been going out to get a drink when his mobile buzzed. He wasn’t sure who it could be, since most people called his work phone, but this was his personal. He opened the text, and his eyes widened.

_I’m on my way. -M_

Wolf was alive? John Watson was alive? “Fucking hell,” he cursed, and hopped into his Audi instead of getting onto his bike. He tossed the mobile onto the other seat and peeled out of the garage and onto the street, barely missing the bins. He sped on the country roads towards Yorkshire, his mind racing. The underworld had heard quickly of the Wolf’s death, and it had hit Sebby hard. He wasn’t sure why, but he was elated that the man hadn’t died after all. His speedometer raced past 95  to 120 quickly, but it seemed like nothing was fast enough.

Finally, he hit the city limits, and slowed down so he wouldn’t get pulled over, but he still pushed the speed limit. He’d heard of WIllies’, but had never been there, though he had a vague idea of where it was. It wasn’t long before he found it, and he pulled up and parked, and walked inside quickly, trying not to look too desperate as he scanned the faces.He hadn’t had long to wait on Sebastian, the man made record time to the bar. John smiled as he saw Sebastian come through that door and moved quickly toward him, ushering him to calm down and take a seat in a booth.

“Hey, Bastian… Chill.” John urged quietly, relieved to see a familiar and friendly face. “Try not to make a scene…”

He spotted him quickly, and forced himself to remain calm as he directed him over to a seat. His fisted hand was the only sign of a struggle for control. He smiled. “That’s gonna be a bit hard to do, but I’ll try.”

"Good to see you again, Johnny," he said, clapping him on the shoulder. He motioned to the bartender for two drinks, ordering John’s favorite. "What gives?" he asked, after the bartender had scuttled off.John sighed heavily.

“Jim’s cleaners came after me. I put a couple toes out of line. Had to disappear for a while… As far as anyone else knows I’m dead.” he said softly, smiling as he took a sip of his drink. “I didn’t scare you, did I?”

"A little," Sebastian admitted, taking a drink. It made sense that Jim had been the one after John. What surprised him was that they hadn’t finished the job. Jim had lost two good men when he’d turned on Seb and John.

"So, you’ve disappeared. Why’d that bring you to this shite place? You could’ve stayed at my flat up Dorset way," he said, giving him a look. "Jim couldn’t get you there."“I haven’t been here… You wouldn’t  _believe_ where I’ve been actually. But I was dumped here. Not really here by choice. I could use a place to stay…” John explained quietly, tipping his glass up and taking another swig of his drink.

“Now I’m off the radar. Legally dead. I’ve got money in an account under a false name but my flat, my reputation. It’s all gone. Starting over fresh now. Goin’ by Ex now…”

Sebastian’s eyebrows raised just a little, showing his curiosity and surprise. “Well, I’ve got plenty of room.” He smirked. “Ex, huh? Well… your reputation has become a legacy,  _Wolf_ ,” he said, grinning, before finishing his drink and getting another. “Underground’s still buzzing. You wouldn’t believe some of the tales they tell about you. I don’t even believe half of them.”

"Fuck the idiots who left you here. Come home with me. I’d enjoy the company to be honest. Course, I’m not home very often nowadays. Went back to my old job. Snipin’ not paying the way it used to," he said, looking out the window. He still had a bit left from working for Jim, but he’d had to go back to the club where he’d begun. Maybe with John back, things would pick up again, once they worked on his new personality.

“Well I can’t go walkin’ around as John or Wolf anymore. Too risky… A good friend calls me Ex. Seemed as good a handle as any…” He explained with a slight shrug. He grinned as Sebastian spoke of his “legacy” and was delighted to hear that whispers of him were still circulating.

“I’d be very appreciative, Sebastian. Really I would. What’s your old job, then?” he asked. “I’m looking to get back into the business…”

"No, it’s good, really. Ex. Very mysterious. That’ll work damn well," Sebastian said, smirking. He was glad John liked hearing of his legacy. He could just as well’ve not wanted his reputation to stick around.

Sebastian chuckled. “You don’t want to know. Dunno if anyone from the old crew would speak to me if they knew.” He grinned widely. “We’ll get you back in the game. No worries. Just cause you’re not the Wolf anymore, doesn’t mean you’re not still fucking brilliant.”

"Good, it’s settled then. You got anything to claim before we go?"

“I suppose it is a bit mysterious…” John agreed with a soft chuckle. “But you can always call me Wolf or John when it’s just us if you like…”

“I wouldn’t want to know? Oh now you’ve got me curious, Seb. Don’t tease.” John replied with a little laugh, polishing off his drink.”Oh you know flattery will get you everywhere, no one’s called me brilliant before…”

He tilted his head and shrugged a bit.

“I’ve got nothing in this world, Sebastian. Not a single thing left. Just the clothes on my back and one Swiss Bank Account.”

"I like Ex…. But I’ll call you John when we’re alone. Wolf though… As much as I want to, you never know who’s listening. Even at my place." Sebastian shrugged. It came with the job.

"Really? That’s bollocks. No one’s ever told you you were fucking brilliant?" Sebastian shook his head in disbelief. "As for the job… I’m back at the club, actually." Sebastian wasn’t proud of his stripper past. He knew he was attractive, and he could take things that not a lot of other men could take when it came to kinks, but it paid the bills. He got very little pleasure out of it these days, though he was going at playing that it was pleasurable. If you didn’t know him well, you’d say he was the most pleasured man at the club. If you didn’t know him.

"We’ll fix that. Come on," he said, throwing some notes on the table. "We’ll get going. Pick up some clothes and things for you on the way. You’ve got to look good… Ex."

“Good point. I like hearing someone call me John now and again though. Sounds like home. Especially coming from a friend.” John replied as he slowly got up from the booth. Knowing Sebastian was back at the club sent a ripple of jealousy through him. It wasn’t something he was accustomed to feeling. He didn’t like the idea of a bunch of strangers groping and leering at his (incredibly attractive) friend. But it wasn’t his choice.

“I suppose you have to do what you have to do…” John replied with a forced smile was he followed him out the door to that beautiful car. John whistled lowly.

“Well I’ll just have to let you pick things out, clearly you have better taste than I do.” he said as he examined the vehicle. “If anyone would be a judge of what looks good on me it’d be you.”

The clothes he was wearing now were too big from how much weight he’d dropped while in the Underworld and he was far from fashionably dressed.

"Good thing I’m a friend then, innit?" Sebastian said, grinning at him. He noticed something go through John’s eyes when he mentioned the club. And that’s why he hadn’t wanted to tell him what he was doing. People thought of him differently when he told them he was a stripper. They got even worse when he mentioned that he was also a hooker.

His grin cam back full full as John admired his car. This was his baby, and he loved it more than life sometimes. Memories of a better time covered every inch of her in his mind’s eye.

"Your taste in things can’t be all gone. After all, you did ask me to come get you," he said, winking at him. He opened the door for him, and let him get in, and then got into the driver’s side quickly. "Your stuff isn’t all bad. We just need to get you eating again. How long’s it been since you ate last?"

John eased back against the seat of the car and laughed, feeling incredibly tired. It seemed like he hadn’t rested in ages. Having Moran around made it much easier for him to relax. He chuckled softly and shook his head.

“I think texting you is the best thing I’ve done in ages, mate.” he looked out the window of the car, ready to kiss this shit bar good bye. When Sebastian asked him how long it had been since he ate John sighed.

“It feels like it’s been years since I’ve had a meal.” John stated quietly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Sebastian’s grin widened as John laughed. It had felt like ages since he’d heard his laugh, and he’d forgotten how much he liked it. He looked exhausted, and Sebastian wondered if he should just take him home and then go get the food. They could do clothes tomorrow. He was sure there were a few things he had that could fit him till then.

"I’d agree with that, mate," he said, and reved the engine as he pulled out of the parking lot and out onto the street.

Sebastian gave him a look. “Alright. We’ll get a to do list going then. Food, sleep, clothes. What do you want first? We’re doing all three. Can’t have you dying on me for real.”

John sighed and shook his head as he thought it over.

“Hmmmmm… Okay. Food, sleep, shower, then clothes. In that order…” he replied softly. “And possibly cigarettes somewhere in there… Could really use a smoke…”

He hadn’t been able to feel so at ease in so long and it was such a relief to just let Sebastian take the wheel and drive him wherever he pleased really.

Sebastian chuckled a little. “Fine, fine. We’ll stop somewhere along the way, get some eats and smokes. Could use one myself to be honest,” he said, getting off the main road as soon as possible, and getting the auto back to where it belonged on the speedometer, feeling the roar on the engine under his feet. “Christ,” he muttered to himself, grinning.

They drive for a while, and Seb stopped off at a small bar on the way, and picked up a load of fish and chips to go, and bought a pack of fags from the bartender. He brought the food back to the car, where he’d left John, and tossed him the fags. “Now or home?”

John had almost dozed off while Sebastian went inside so when the man came back into the car and tossed the little box of cigarettes into his lap he startled a bit. He grinned and sighed, kissing the cardboard.

“Oh how I missed these…” he said quietly. He glanced at Moran and gave a half shrug.

“Home. Home sounds good…”

Home. That was an interesting word to use. He wondered if that’s really what it would become from here on out. Home. He could see himself making a home with Moran, which was the strangest part by far. He liked the idea. It put a goody little smile on his lips.

Sebastian grinned when he startled John. The man must’ve been exhausted. “I’ll bet you have. Enjoy ‘em, and I’ll get more when you run out.”

He hopped back in the driver’s seat.  _Home._ Home, with John Watson? Sounded pretty damn good to him. He peeled out of the lot, and took off, headed for London.

It took Sebastian a little less than 45 minutes to reach the outskirts of London, where he had to slow down. He grumble to himself a little, but turned the radio up and hummed along. John was nodding off, but Seb didn’t mind. When they pulled up to the flat, he shook John awake. “Let’s go, we’re here,” he said, pulling into the garage.

John roused with a groan and a yawn, stretching a bit as he clambered rather clumsily out of the car in a half-asleep daze. His stomach growled unhappily at him, demanding food, and his tongue danced behind his teeth as he anticipated the sweet refreshing taste of cigarette smoke that was soon to come.

“Home sweet home…” he muttered to himself as he straightened his back, the vertebrae popping pleasantly.

Sebastian chuckled, and he locked the car, and closed the garage with the press of a few buttons. “Let’s get you inside, and fed. You look like you could keel over at any time, mate,” he said, hesitating, before going over to support him.

 _Home sweet home…_ He hoped he wouldn’t get the urge to put up one of those damn decals with those words on it.

He helped John inside, and let him roam a bit while he went to the kitchen to grab a couple of beers and some plates for the food.

John stumbled around to the nearest soft surface, which happened to be the couch, and flopped down, sighing softly and relaxing into the upholstery. 

“Nice place, Bastian. ‘S cozy.” he called to the other man as he stretched languidly, giving a soft groan of contentment. “Hmmm…”

It smelled of Sebastian in here. His cologne, his laundry detergent, all of it. It was sort of soothing. The Underworld hadn’t really smelled like much of anything at all. 

Sebastian chuckled as John collapsed onto the couch and groaned. “I like it well enough,” he said, bringing the food over, and setting it on the coffee table, sitting down.

John moved forward and joined his friend in companionable silence as they ate. It was nice. Peaceful. Where he’d been before silence had been deafening and drove him crazy when Eris wasn’t there to stave off all the insanity. John wondered briefly if anyone had missed him or mourned him.

“So did I get a proper funeral?” he asked, his tone light and joking. Though he was a touch curious.

Sebastian stopped eating. He thought for a moment, trying to phrase his thoughts correctly, kindly, if possible. “No… Not a funeral persay. Not a lot of people in the underground wanted to be in the same place at the same time, for obvious reasons. There was a memorial stone set up under the bridge. Still there I think. People come to leave their mementos and say their goodbyes.” he chuckled lightly. He’d taken it upon himself to look after the memorial, make sure no one left anything that Wolf wouldn’t’ve approved of. The flowers and shit Sebastian had collected and thrown, except for a few more tasteful arrangements. He collected cards and things every other day, so people wouldn’t get suspicious of the items collecting under the bridge. They were all in one of the rooms in his flat.

"You want to see it later?"

He dug into his fish and chips, not really saying much. He wondered what John was thinking, besides how nice it was to be alive again.

“Understandable. I wouldn’t want them to risk their lives for my memory. Far too dangerous.” he replied softly. He wondered briefly if word had reached his parents. If they even cared. He hummed quietly and smiled a little. 

“Could be good for a laugh. Sure why not…” John commented as he ate, trying to adjust to the idea of people mourning or missing him. 

"You’d be surprised, I think, how many people came to see you.. well, your mark. I sure as hell was. I knew people knew about you, but I thought most of them were scared shiteless by you," said Sebastian, eating a little more, watching John carefully. He wondered what else was on his mind.

“You’d be surprised, I think, how many people came to see you.. well, your mark. I sure as hell was. I knew people knew about you, but I thought most of them were scared shiteless by you,” said Sebastian, eating a little more, watching John carefully. He wondered what else was on his mind.

He chuckled a little. “Visiting your own grave? Yea, I could see how that could be a little funny.”

“Well I hadn’t thought I’d made a very good impression. Guess I was wrong.” he replied with a half shrug as he polished off the last of his food. He slumped back on the couch and let his head fall to rest on Moran’s shoulder. He closed his eyes and sighed.

“So long as a choice few missed me I’ll be happy…”

“People were… are in awe of you. You did things no one other than you and he ever dreamed of pulling off, and until last week, even I thought you were invincible,” Sebastian said quietly, sitting back in his seat, and looking at John’s head on his shoulder.

“They did. I’m sure of it.”

“Well, that’s flattering. I did put a lot of heart into my work…” he said with a soft smile as he started to doze off right there, leaned against Sebastian. 

“I hope _they_  know how sorry I am… for leaving like I did…”

“And it showed,” said Sebastian, trying not to get too affectionate, as John began to doze off on his shoulder. “Still does. And it will show in your work again, Johnny,” he said quietly, not wanting to disturb him.

“I’m  _sure_ they do,” he said, rubbing his shoulder lightly, in what he hoped was a comforting manner.

John merely hummed in response, curling against Sebastian’s side, falling asleep under the gentle touch and the warm comfort of having his friend near again. He sighed softly in his sleep, going dead weight with his exhaustion. 

Sebastian waited until John was completely asleep before moving. He looked at him lying there on the couch, and wondered what kind of a man he would’ve been if it hadn’t been for Jim, and the things that had made him who he was today… Probably would’ve had a nice family life, couple of kids, a wife or husband who cooked dinner for him when he came home from the hospital. And where would Sebastian be, if it hadn’t been for… well, he didn’t know what had started him on this path. It certainly hadn’t been Jim. He was an arse far before that, before the club, even before the military. He blamed his father, mostly, and his uncle… He shook off his reverie, and leaned down to pick John up, a little worried about how light his friend was, as he carried him to his guest bedroom, and laid him out, taking off his shoes and jacket. He covered him with a blanket, and then hesitantly, brushed his face with a single finger, before leaving him in that room, and closing the door behind him.

When John awoke it was from a nightmare. Screaming, gun fire, the underworld, aimless souls. Everything plagued him all at once and he sat up like a blot in bed, gasping for breath. He looked around quickly in the sun drenched bedroom, relieved to see it and not the world he’d left behind. He was in a cold sweat, his chest heaving as he panted to catch his breath. 

“Fuck…”

Sebastian had been resting, after cleaning out some space around the house. He’d gone out for about an hour, picking up a few toiletries and suntry items for John, and some more food. He didn’t really pick up any other clothes, knowing that John had his own taste, but he also wanted to see John come back before his eyes. As he was just about to get up and get a drink, he heard a sound that unnerved him from the guest bedroom. He got out and walked quickly over to the bedroom and let himself in, finding John sitting up in the bed, looking like he’d just been through a war. “John… What was it?” he asked, coming over to the bed, and sitting down on the edge.

John looked up, jerking in surprise as Sebastian sat down on the edge of the bed. He gave a shuddery sigh and shook his head.

“Nothing… It’s nothing… Just nightmares…” he whispered. He swallowed uneasily and gave a weak smile. “Got coffee? I could really use some…”

_Liar. There’s something else… what happened to you, Johnny?_

“Yeah. I’ve got some that I can make. Be back in two shakes,” said Sebastian, getting up to go make the coffee. It took him about 10 minutes, in actuality, but then he came back with two steaming mugs of coffee, made just the way John used to like it. He handed his coffee over, and sat back down.

“Was it the war again?”

John relaxed back against the headboard while Sebastian was gone and when he came back he felt much more centered. He took the offered coffee and sipped it. Nice and strong, with cinnamon added to the grounds. Moran knew him too well. He sighed a little and shook his head.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you what was haunting me now… Nightmares so bad I can’t put them into words. Things you can’t even begin to imagine Bastian…” John replied softly, closing his eyes as he did his best to relax.

“The war pales in comparison…”

Sebastian’s curiosity was stoked, and he tried not to be too obvious in his desire to know more about what was worse than the war, than Jim… He was tempted, so tempted to reach out to John, to try to comfort him somehow, but then he looked at himself, and shook his head, trying to clear it. John didn’t need to be comforted. This was John fucking Watson. He needed nothing from no one, especially Sebastian Moran.

Even so, Sebastian’s hand reached out, as if of its own accord, and rubbed John’s leg comfortingly. “What was it, Johnny? I can handle it. Try, John….. Try for me. Maybe I can help.”

John was a little shaken as he thought about all he had seen.

“I have seen things so grotesque that there aren’t words to describe them…” he said softly, wiping a hand over his face. He sighed and closed his eyes, reaching over and putting his hand atop Sebastian’s own. “If I ever want to talk about it, you’ll be the first to know.”

 Sebastian could see quite easily how shaken John was, and he turned his hand so that it was holding John’s, in what he hoped was a comforting manner.  He wanted coddle him, to hold him, kiss him and tell him that it was okay, that he was safe now, away from all of that, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to John.

“Okay,” he said softly, giving him a small reassuring smile. “Cause I am here for you, Johnny… If nothing else, I can be a listening ear for you.”

John nodded, smiling warmly as he leaned over and slid his hand along Sebastian’s jaw. He pulled him close and pressed a firm kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you Seb. Also. Coffee was perfect.” he said as he let him go and got out of bed. He stretched languidly and yawned.

“So… Coffee’s good… Clothes I s’pose are next on the agenda. You take me and I’ll let you come in the changing room with me, yeah?” he said with a little laugh, winking at his friend as he headed out of the bedroom.

Sebastian grinned then. So he hadn’t been imagining things. Of course, this could be a lingering thing, since them and Jim had been…. involved. John had always been the more affectionate of the three of them, but Sebastian had never minded. It had brought them closer. “Glad you liked it,” he chuckled, getting up to take the coffee cups back to the kitchen.

“Yea, clothes. You can’t stay in what you’ve got forever,” he called to him as he washed up the dishes. He’d get him a couple of decent suits, and some classy work clothes. He grinned at the idea of them being in the dressing room together. If he was getting the vibes from John right, it was going to be a hell of a trip.

“Whenever you’re ready to go, Johnny,” he said, coming over to him with one of his own coats.

John nodded, grabbing his boots and pulling them on over his socked feet.

“The sooner the better.” he agreed, smiling up at Sebastian as he tied off his boots. He moved through the house toward the window, looking at the sky outside. Rain. Of course rain. Always bloody rain. He smiled a little though. It was a good excuse to cook something earthy like stew. He looked back at Sebastian and smiled warmly.

“Rain. You know what that means…” he said, tapping his fingers against his chin idly.

Sebastian had noticed the rain, and was headed to grab an umbrella as John spoke to him.

“What does it mean, John?” he asked, a little confused, his mind immediately searching for the answer. Something in their past perhaps, that had to do with rain? Snuggling, jobs in the rain… something. What was he missing? He tugged on his coat as he looked at John for the answer.

John turned around and grabbed the lapels of Sebastian’s coat, making sure it was snugly around him before looking up at him with bright blue eyes full of warmth and mischief.

“It means I’m cooking you a nice warm dinner tonight…” he said soft and low. “Now lets go…”

 _Fuck_ what those eyes did to him…. “Sounds like a plan, Johnny Boy,” he grinned, as they walked out to the garage, and he opened the door for John again, and then hopped over to the driver’s seat, getting in and belting up, before looking over at John with a grin on his face. “Damn, I can’t wait to get you into a suit again, John,” he said, before they peeled out of the garage towards some of Sebastian’s favourite shops.

Not even hitting a pedestrian along the way, and because of the rain, the trip didn’t take too long at all, and soon, John and Sebastian were in one of London’s finest shops, sitting in a couple of nice chairs, while Sebastian directed the ladies into finding suits that would fit John. His measurements had changed, there was nothing they could do about that immediately, but Sebastian didn’t care. Soon they brought out a rack of suits in varying colors, and Sebastian picked out four or five, and sent the rest away. ‘Get your arse in there. I want to see how fine you turn out after some sleep and food,’ he grinned at John.

John let himself be dragged about and pushed along with a smile on his face. The first suit he tried on in the changing room (a double wide to accommodate the both of them) was a deep midnight blue. It worked well with his complexion and bright eyes. A basic two piece, with a stark white shirt underneath. He looked over at Sebastian and gave a slight spin.

“What do you think…?” he asked, glancing himself over in the full length mirror before turning to to look at Sebastian instead.

Sebastian grinned at him appreciatively, as he took his friend in for head to toe. He walked out of the dressing room for a moment, and came back with a tie and a pair of patent leather black shoes, exactly John’s size. “Put them on,” he said low, as he looked him over. He liked how the blue brought out John’s eyes, and he immediately looked younger, healthier, and very damn sexy. “Looking fucking fantastic, Johnny Boy,” Sebastian said with a low whistle, as John did his tie, and stepped into the shoes.

He walked over to the rack and pulled off another suit. “Here, put this one on,” he said, but in his mind, there was more to that thought: before _I tear you out of that one._

In and out of four or five suits in total, John was laughing by the end of their little excursion at the shop. Sebastian had dressed him up and down like a doll or something. But he loved being admired by the man who he found to be far more handsome than himself. When they finished trying everything on John was exhausted already. 

“Well. You pick. Which ones Sebastian. I liked them all.” John said as he looked over the rack.

Sebastian’s eyes twinkled, and he was also laughing at John’s jovial attitude towards Sebastian’s nitpickiness towards his wardrobe. Sebastian had fitted him, and poked him and prodded him with pins and needles, making sure all the suits fit him the right way. And if he’d snuck in a feel or two, well, who could blame him?

He could feel the sense of exhaustion coming from John, and knew he needed to hurry and get him to another shop before he crashed on him. “Choose? Love, you’re getting all of them,” said Sebastian, winking at him. He handed the rack off to their assistant, and gave her his notes for the tailoring. “Now we just need to get you some regular clothes. Unlike a certain Irishman, I don’t believe in sleeping in my suits. We need to get you some small clothes, at least. Sleeping in the nude is fine and dandy, but you can’t just walk around nude all the time,” he grinned with yet another wink. He lead John out to the car, after sliding his card over to the assistant, paying for the clothes. He drove them to another shop, where he let John have a little more free reign to pick our clothes he felt comfortable in.

John wound up purchasing some nice jeans, tshirts, button downs, and of course, some more comfortable around the house wear. Track pants and undershirts. All in all he felt like himself again by the time they’d finished shopping. He was surprised at how at ease just wearing nicer clothes that actually fit him put him. He sighed contently as they finished shopping and didn’t stop himself from wrapping around Sebastian’s arm to share his umbrella in the pouring rain as they walked from shop to shop. It was fun to just bond again. It felt like… home. Some sort of normalcy.

But yes, as the afternoon came around and the day melted away, John was easily exhausted. He wasn’t used to life on the surface and he was incredibly malnourished as it was. So when four pm rolled around he was barely standing. He sighed heavily as he leaned into Sebastian on the walk back to his car. 

“I need a little caffeine…” he commented, his cheek pressed to the man’s shoulder. He smiled softly and looked up at Sebastian. “Let’s stop at Gloria’s and get a coffee on the way home. Something to pep me up so I can cook for you.”

John’s fingers slipped down to lace with Sebastian’s unashamedly. He’d missed the contact of another human being and Sebastian had never really minded his affection before. So now, he hoped, would be no different. He liked the warmth of the other man’s hand in his, the press of his body, the feel of his laughter. It was welcoming and familiar. 

This time they were spending was soothing away the fears he’d been tormented with in the night. They hardly bothered him now, so long as he could keep his focus on Sebastian, he’d be all right. And that’s what he needed to be right now.

All right.

“Is that okay with you?” John asked, turning his clear blue eyes up at Sebastian, peering at him from untrimmed and unruly blonde and grey fringe.

Sebastian watched John sort through the racks, picking out a shirt here, some trousers there, his small clothes and things, and swiped his card at register after register, until John had a complete wardrobe, all suited to him, both his old self and his new self. He grinned as John clung to his arm under the umbrella as they unloaded their packages inbetween shops, and walked in the rain, talking shop and nonsense, and reminiscing every once in a while. He noticed as the day wore on, the weight of John increased on his arm, and the longer John took in the dressing rooms, the more Sebastian knew he needed to wrap this up.

As John grew more tired, his touches and caresses were more frequent, more lingering, and Sebastian found that he didn’t mind much at all. He welcomed John’s cheek on his shoulder, and the pressure of their hands intertwining. It reminded him of better days, days when they weren’t on the run, or in an bad way with the people they knew and loved. The days when it had just been John and Bastian, out to rule the world.

Sebastian wondered if his nightmares would be affected by John’s presence. Already he’d felt lighter than he had in weeks… years even. Things felt right with John around. More than right. The whole world seemed right when John was with him, alive and well.

Hearing John’s voice, he shook out of his reverie, and looked down at him, struck with the sudden urge to kiss him as he looked up at him through his shaggy hair. “Coffee sounds great,” he rumbled, and leaned to kiss his forehead just gently, before leading him back to the car, and opening the door for him. He helped him buckle in, and then went around swiftly to the driver’s side and get in, turning on the car and taking off for Gloria’s.

 


	2. Nature's Instincts, or, A Damn Good Shag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a roleplay written by myself and captainjhw on Tumblr. All mistakes are my own. It is in the same universe as Return From the Grave

"I could really use a good hard shag after all that time away..." John muttered half to himself as he sat on the sofa.  "Well this is an unpleasant time to have all my old flames thinkin’ I’m dead."

Sebastian looked up from where he was working on a stir fry, shirt off because his air conditioner wasn't working (again). I thought you wanted something to eat?

John swallows hard and clears his throat awkwardly.

“Yeah… Yeah somethin’ to eat would be ideal…”

~~_I can think of one thing I’d love to put in my mouth…_ ~~

Sebastian watches him from where he was standing in the kitchen of his flat. John’s musings had almost shocked him, but he wasn’t really annoyed. He was almost… excited by the prospect.

“Care to list a few things? I don’t want to get you something you don’t want,” he said, leaning back against the counter, hips jutted out.

John’s eyes roved over Moran’s body and his tongue darted over his lips, his brows raising a bit as he placed his hands on his hips.

“You know I… I’m drawing a blank…” he said quietly, his eyes moving to Sebastian’s hips.

Sebastian watched John as he gazed over his body, the body that Sebastian put on a stage every night. But as John looked it over, he felt far more alive that he had in weeks.

"Too bad. I can think of a few things," he said, crooking his finger at John, motioning him over, as the man stared at his hips.

John caught the motion of Sebastian’s finger and immediately complied, moving closer and stopping right inside the man’s personal space. His eyes moved from Seb’s hips to his lips and he couldn’t help but lick his own.

“Oh? What did you have in mind?”

Sebastian grinned as John came closer to him, cocking an eyebrow when he stopped right in front of him. He licked his lips slowly.

"Like I said, there’s a few things. I’d sure you can read it though, John. You were always  _so_ good at that,” he smirked, and drew a finger over his wrist and along the tendons in his arms, over the scars that were there.

John reached up and clutched the back of Moran’s neck, dragging the man down to his level. He crushed their mouths together into a rough kiss, unable to resist him any longer. That’s what he got for strutting about without a shirt on, trousers slung so low on his hips. John’s fingers of his free hand played over the sharp angle of those hip bones, a growl of want rumbling deep in his ribcage.

Their mouths crashed together, and Sebastian moaned a little into the kiss, pressing against him, letting him feel what he was doing to him. John’s growl aroused him evern further, and his hand snaked under his shirt. “You are wearing far too much, Mr. Watson,” he murmured against his mouth, before ripping the shirt off his back, glad that it was only one of his old ones. Their tongues battled each other, and Sebastian growled as his hand wandered over his exposed hipbones. “See something you like,” he asked, a snarky grin on his face.

John hissed a little as the shirt was tugged from his body and quickly wrapped himself around Sebastian again, their bare chests pressing hotly together as he kissed him again, fingers digging into his hips once more.

“Of course I do… I see you… And only you…” he replied in a mischievous tone, nipping at Moran’s lips.

"You’d better only see me,"Sebastian growled as John’s fingers scored his hips, gripping them tightly, as they kissed passionately. Sebastian pressed against him, flipping them so that he was pressing John against the wall, grinding their crotches together, and he moved his mouth from John’s mouth to his neck, nipping him there.

"Fucking hell, John," he muttered, coming up for air.

John nodded fervently, keening into the kiss with delight as he was suddenly pressed against the wall. He tipped his head back with a thunk against the wall, his breath coming harder and heavier as Sebastian’s mouth was on his throat.

"You and only you…" John insisted, his hands slipping up to clutch at Moran’s shoulders.

Sebastian growled low as John tipped his head back, giving him more room to mark him for his own, and he ground up against his crotch. His heavy breathing only served to arouse him more. He need to dominate John, show him who’s he was (and by default, show John that Seb was his.)

"Mine," he said, grabbing his hands and pinning them to the wall, he began to lick and suck at John’s neck, and collarbone, moving on down his chest, leaving marks everywhere his teeth touched. Then he came back up to his mouth. "Your mouth. I want it on me," he growled, nipping at his lower lip hungrily.

As Sebastian’s hips rolled into him John bucked back, his spine arching with ecstasy. He parted his lips as Moran nipped them and moved his head to suck and kiss at his jaw and neck where he could reach without wrenching out of the other man’s grip.

"Whatever you want… Yes… It’s yours…" He panted against Moran’s heated skin. "I’m yours…"

John bucked up back towards him, and he grinned as the shorter man began to nip at his jaw and throat, not fighting him at all. He knew whose he was, and that satisfied Sebastian.

"You fucking well are," he muttered, and then he released his hands, giving him the freedom to move, placing his own against the wall to support him as John’s mouth began to trail lower. Any other person he would’ve kept pinned as they did this to him, but he knew now that John wanted this as much as he did, and he smirked at the thought.

John’s hands flew to Sebastian’s ribcage, his mouth immediately working its way down the man’s chest. He sucked and bit lightly at each of his nipples on the way down, his hands sliding lower with him as he sank to his knees. He kissed at Moran’s stomach, his tongue dipping into his navel playfully as he tugged Moran’s loose fitting trousers and pants down to drop around his ankles.

One hand remained clawed into Moran’s hip while the other wrapped around his sex, stroking him a few times before he opened his mouth wide and swallowed Moran down, moaning around the thick and heavy weight on his tongue.

Sebastian groaned as John laved his chest with his mouth, his hands seemed to be everywhere at once, tightly gripping him, and Seb’s fingers curled on the wall. He growled low when John licked his navel, tugging his trousers and pants all the way off, groaning as the cool air engulfed his erection.

John’s fingers clawed his hipbone, and Sebastian hoped it would leave a mark, and then his hand was on his length and he hissed, “John!”, biting his forearm when John took him into his mouth for the first time. “ _Fu-uck,_ " he moaned as John swallowed around him, the suction feeling absolutely like fucking heaven. "Move,  _damn_ you.”

John did as commanded, moving his mouth up and down Moran’s manhood, his nails biting deep into the flesh of his hips as he guided them toward his mouth. He moaned around Sebastian, the sounds sending pleasant vibrations up his length as he sucked him. It should have been shameful how much John enjoyed doing this. But John didn’t have any shame left to feel when it came to Moran.

Sebastian hissed as John began to bob around his cock, humming over him, and he braced himself on the wall, and pushed the other into John’s hair, tugging at it, trying not to push him down further, though he desperately wanted to. “ _Fuuuck,_  John,” he muttered into his arm. He bucked a little and felt John pull back. “Don’t you fucking dare,” he said, glaring down at him.

John groaned appreciatively at the hand in his hair, his own cock straining against his jeans as he worked his mouth around Moran, his eyes flicking up to meet the ex-sniper’s as Sebastian bucked forward. He opened wider to let Moran thrust into him. He didn’t mind, in fact, he loved it. 

John groaned and opened his mouth wider around him, his eyes locked with Sebastian’s and Sebastian uttered a long growl, and then held John’s head still, as he fucked his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. He could tell that this was only arousing John further and despite his own need, he wanted to touch John, hold him in his hands, and squeeze him.  John picked that moment to moan again, and Seb hauled him up and pushed him against the wall, and his mouth came over John’s, hard and demanding.

John’s head spun at the sudden change of position, his legs aching as he was slammed into the wall, saliva dripping down his chin from how roughly his mouth had been fucked. He groaned as he was claimed in such a hard kiss, his hips canting forward, desperate for contact.

Sebastian supported John against the wall, so he wouldn’t do something stupid like pass out from the sudden change in position. He licked up the saliva dripping down his chin… he tasted amazing, a mixture of himself and Sebastian. He groaned into the kiss, moving quickly from his mouth to his jawline, to his throat, biting and sucking at his skin, marking him as his. “Mine,” he growled at him, pulling John’s hips to grind against his own.

John gasped, his chest rumbling with growls and moans at the pleasure of Moran’s mouth on him, his hands, his hips. It was all very overwhelming and wonderful. He needed less between them. He needed to not be so terribly confined. 

“Yours…” he agreed, groaning low in the back of his throat as he bucked forward against Sebastian.

Sebastian was tired of the trousers that John still wore. A quick flick of his thumb and forefinger and the button was undone and the zipper was down, and Sebastian took John into his hand and stroked his hardness, rubbing the tip with his thumb, grinning as John gasped under his ministrations. He bucked up against John’s cock, and his hand grasped their erections and pulled them together, and he hissed at how good it felt.

John clawed at Sebastian’s shoulders to keep himself upright as suddenly Sebastian’s hand was around them and their cocks were sliding together, slick from John’s spit. He bucked his hips into the strong hand around him, moaning louder.

Sebastian groaned as John clawed at his back and shoulders, the friction between them almost painful with how pleasurable it was. He nipped his lip, thrusting his tongue into John’s mouth, claiming it again as his cock rutted against John. “I need to be inside you, John. I need to fuck you,” he muttered into his ear, in his own way asking for permission, as he pinned him to the wall.

John shoved Sebastian away only to yank him into a kiss immediately after, nails digging into the back of his neck.

“Then fuck me.” he growled, his words both permissive and challenging though thick with lust. He kissed and sucked at Sebastian’s neck and collar. “Fuck me until… I can’t see straight… Until I forget my own name… Until my legs stop working and I can’t walk for days…”

Sebastian grinned at his mate, and kissed him back just as harshly, and then he hoisted him up so that his legs were around his waist, and slipped two fingers inside him immediately, groaning into his shoulder at how tight he was. “Fuck, Johnny,” he muttered, and bit down on his shoulder, as he pushed his fingers into him, scissoring inside him stretching him, and added a third finger before he was ready. His middle finger just brushed his prostate, and Sebastian kissed John just in time to swallow the cry that issued from his mouth.

John was a mess between the wall and Sebastian, his back bowing and his lips shaking with whimpers and moans. 

“Fuck… Fuck Bastian… just… just do it already…” he panted, clawing at the other man’s shoulders. 

John’s desperate words, and the nails on his back sent a shot of pure lust through Sebastian, and he forcefully replaced his fingers with his rock hard cock, and slammed into John. The only thought in his mind for a single moment was  _Home._ John was home to him, had always been home to him. He’d always been there for him, and …  _no, not going to go there._

“Fuck, Johnny, motherfucking hell,” he muttered as he pulled out and shoved into him again, this time staying imbeded inside him, moving only slightly, before setting up a steady and fast pace moving in and out of him.

John whined and moaned as he was thrust into, pushing his hips down to meet Sebastian’s movements with earnest as he looked into those terrifying tiger eyes. He wouldn’t ever feel quite as safe to be himself as he did around this other animal. Sebastian was his shelter. His safehaven in every storm. They’d always been friends. Sometimes John wanted more but… No. He’s your best mate. Don’t.

“Seb..asti…an!” he grunted out as his body was impaled on the other man’s.

Sebastian met John’s gaze, and he grinned and the animal lust and the emotions he saw there. He leaned forward, as as he stroked into him, he kissed him harshly, just as he hit his prostate head on, nipping his lower lip.

“Whose are you, Johnny?” he asked, wanting to own this man, possess him fully, mark him for his own. He leaned down and nipped his neck, hard, causing a bruise to appear almost immediately. “Whose?” he asked, as he nipped just under his earlobe, and then tugged on his earlobe with his exposed teeth.

John gasped out a few sharp cries, his nails drawing blood from Sebastian’s back as he held onto him tighter.

“Yours… Only.. Yours!!” John grunted out, shaking his head and wrapping his legs tighter around Sebastian’s waist.

Sebastian’s thrusts grew more intense, harder and faster, and John’s words only pushed him on, in his desire to possess him fully, mark him as his own, fill him completely. “Mine,” he growled, and swallowed John’s cries in another breathtaking kiss, as he hit his prostate again, and again, his tongue thrusting into John’s mouth as well as his cock into John’s hole.

“Fuck, Johnny,” he muttered against his lips. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good, so tight, so hot, fucking shit, Jesus,” he muttered, pounding into him harder, angling even deeper. Then he grasped John’s cock, and began to pull at it, in tandem with his thrusts, hard rough pulls, thumbing over the slit. 

John couldn’t control himself, or contain his cries. His body was getting too hot, too quickly, a low, gasp of Sebastian’s name leaving him as suddenly he curled inward, burying his face in Sebastian’s neck, his body spasming with an intense orgasm, spilling over Sebastian’s strong hand. His muscles shuddered and clenched around the intrusion inside him, his body slowly going limp against the other man.

John came over his hand, and his orgasm drew Sebastian over the edge quickly with just another thrust, and he cried out John’s name as he came, nipping his neck to muffle his cries, as he felt himself fill John with his seed. “John… fuck,” he muttered, and let John down easily, keeping his hands at his waist, as he breathed hard, trying to recover. “I…… I don’t know what came over me,” he said, looking at the shorter man, trying to gage his feelings.

John let his legs slid down and he dislodged himself from his friend with a weak chuckle, the feel of the other man’s release slipping out of him was both irritating and comforting. He smiled up at Sebastian and gave a slight shake of his head.

“No worries, Bastian… Sometimes we all lose control. It’s okay. I’m a big boy, I could have said no…” John said, patting his friend’s shoulder and leaning up to peck his cheek. “Hmm… Thanks. I needed that… But now. I need a shower.”

He made sure his legs would support him before he slipped away from the other man and headed, on trembling limbs, toward the shower. He cocked his head to the side as he walked and gave a crooked smirk to the other man.

“Are you coming or are you just going to stand there smelling of sex in our kitchen?” John called out teasingly. “Come on! I’ll wash your hair for you… I know you love a good scalp massage.”

Sebastian kept his hands around John’s waist for support for both of them. He didn’t need John collapsing after that, and his own breath was coming in short gasps. He honestly wondered if John could’ve said no, or would’ve said no, in other circumstances. He braced himself on the wall as John slid out from under his body, and started to shakily walk to the shower, before turning to look at him, his eyes full of mischevious intent and a light in them that Sebastian had, at one point, thought he’d never see again.

 _Our kitchen…… fuck, what this man does to me._ “I’m comin’,” he smirked back, and started towards him. “And I’ll take that scalp massage,” he said, grinning as he swooped him up in his arms, and carried him to the shower, setting him down in the stall, and closing the door behind them. He flicked the water on, and started to rub John down.

John loved a good pampering from Sebastian in the shower. He hummed appreciatively at every touch to his sore body, his own hands gliding up and down the other man’s chest.

“Hmm… You are… incredible.” John purred, pulling Sebastian in for a kiss, his fingers sliding up into Sebastian’s hair to rub against his scalp.

Sebastian hummed contentedly as John returned his caresses, rubbing him down with his smaller calloused hands, and grinned at the happy sounds issuing from John.

"I could say the same about you, luv," he said, kissing him back, and groaning at the bliss that rose from the feel of John’s hand on his scalp. He could tell the stretch was a bit much for him, and grinning, he slid down to his knees, to give John better access.


End file.
